The Grimm Adventures...

I should start by saying that team building activities, for those of you who are not aware, are a chance for work groups to get out of the office, do something fun and get connected with each other on a new level. That was the goal for my work group last week when about 55 of us invaded the local rec centre to have fun and learn about the health and wellness benefits of physical activity. This goal was not the first thing on many peoples' minds when we first received the meeting request. Many people were thinking something along the lines of, 'I am NOT going to wear my swim suit. What are they thinking, swimming, swimming, damnit I'm not going show up in my swim suit in front of all of these people.'

I have to admit that while this particular rec center has a great pool, and we have been many times as a family, the idea of showing off my physique to my new colleagues was not high on my list of to do's.
So when the organizing manager sent a follow-up email that talked about a mystery activity and also mentioned the fact that we did not have to worry about seeing a couple of the older guys in their 'Brazilian Thongs' we were put at ease; at least somewhat. What was the mystery activity, would it be fun, would I be good at it.

It turned out to be an indoor soccer mini-tournament. It has been about 15 years since I played the game, and those of you who know me in a sporting capacity can probably envision my competitive nature exploding in the EKCC (COTR) intramural indoor soccer league in days gone by. The most vivid memory I have of my two games of indoor soccer is the body check I threw on some poor unsuspecting opponent and him flying through the air in a fully laid out single forward one and a half with a half twist. Had he landed on his feet and held the landing it would have been one for the Olympics. The fact is he didn't land on his feet, but rather squarely on his back with a great breath exploding from his lungs with an audible "POOF" sound. Thankfully he wasn't hurt and the game continued. I was a bit turned off by the whole thing, being used to hockey, with full padding and the ability to rub opponents out into the boards. This was an entirely new paradigm for me of allowing people their personal space in an very demanding sport was not easy. I feared that I would return to my aggressive old time hockey style of indoor soccer and possibly injure one of my new co-workers.

My fear was unfounded however, and during the first two minute game I scored two goals and found I had the lungs to play both offense and defense. It was in the second two minute game that the carnage began with a collision that brings to mind what might happen when a freight train going full speed in one direction hits a street sign that has somehow ended up in the middle of its path. Another image that comes to mind, which is closer to the actual event, is that of Paul Sr. from American Chopper running flat out in one direction and Nicole Ritchie running in the other. I'm sure you get the idea. The odds are pretty long that Nicole Ritchie would remain on her feet after that. So with a referral to a Chiropractor, a bandage and good stiff drink that was the first casualty.

The next bit of blood was drawn by... well... me; though it was really not my fault. As the game progressed certain people started to stand out as "stars" as other proceeded to only stand - like statues to the ancient indoor soccer mediocrity. Some put me in the former category while I would say I was somewhere in the middle. Anyhow, on with the carnage. One of the stars, I would say the star, who is the coach of his kids' indoor and outdoor soccer teams was putting on a bit of a display of ball handling. He dipped and he rolled, he zigged and zagged and he even did the occasional dipsy doodle. It was with this dipsy doodle that he thought he got by me it was only after his face bounced quite hard off my shoulder and his backside contacted the turf that he realized his doodle wasn't all it was cracked up to be. That was the second casualty and though he continued in the game, I felt terrible and was unable to score after that because my concentration was lost. I couldn't even run the length of the field anymore. In hindsight I may have been a bit winded as well as were the rest of the crew.

It was this lack of wind that made the clutching and grabbing start. And all of you NHL fans know that it is the clutching and grabbing that brings the injuries. A couple of people ended up on their faces on the turf and a few on their butts. But the worst of all, the one that brought the game to a stop (for a short time anyway) was the popping sound of a medial cruciat ligament tearing. This one was a dowsy and did not begin with any contact at all. At least not with another person. The poor woman who dislocated her knee had just said to her boss, "I am too tired to play anymore." to which he replied, "Oh, just go stand in the corner out of the way and you'll be fine." Had she heeded his words we would not have had to solicit the help of the first aid crew, wheel her out in a wheel chair and send her home for at least the next week or two. That was a real downer and the pace of the game slowed as we all knew it would be only a matter of time before the next real injury happened.

Thankfully no one else was hurt, physically anyhow. The goalies on each of the five teams had some very soar ego's as did the executive manager and captain of my team. We scored two goals in 26 minutes of soccer. In the end I am not certain if anyone felt any "closer to each other" but we do know who can't play for fun and who doesn't let up. And, I know that I can play indoor, but only for 4 minutes with any intensity.

by Chad

It is a strange feeling to be wishing for snow at Christmas time only to get rain. This is how it has been for the past number of years in Victoria. I am not complaining about rain in winter; I always said, "I would rather shovel rain than snow." The truth is I never took out the shovel in Victoria. Even on the "snow days" when I was sent home from work early.

The weather reports had called for a snow storm for a couple of days so it was not a surprise. I left for my co-op job at the Ministry of Forests a few minutes early as the snow had started and I knew people would be driving slowly. Once I got out onto the main roads I found that people were literally crawling down the road. There was about a quarter inch of snow on the road and instead of the usual two lanes going in both directions the traffic had created one lane each way so there was no getting by. So the twenty minute drive to work took about 45. I did arrive safe and sound and found that many people did not come in because of "all the snow". I worked with my head down for a couple of hours stopping periodically to greet a co-worker who was so scared of all the snow accumulating on the roads. By 11 AM there was an inch and a half on the roads and that was it. With another half inch expected by the end of the day, we were sent home.

Now we are in Edmonton and there has been snow on the ground for a month. And, let me tell you there is more than a couple of inches. I am not sure how much snow it would take to be sent home from work early here. I have woken up to 6 inches on the roads and I just knew that I would have to go in to work. Not that I am complaining, the traffic only goes about 10 Km per hour with that much snow on the road so it is very safe.

Now as Christmas approaches I find myself with snow all around and I still want a fresh blanket for Christmas morning. A light dusting that will clean things up and make it bright. I just wish it would melt clean away by boxing day and warm to at least 15 degrees for the rest of the winter.

Merry Christmas I hope yours is white.

By Chad

The time has come to bid Canada farewell!! We are moving to a small town in central Tanzania so Nicole can complete her research toward her Phd. The adventure will last for at least one year. The thrill of it hasn't really hit us yet, but talking to friends and family and writing all others about it is starting to make it feel more real. Three months from now we will leave Edmonton, the boom town that housed many a Klondike gold rush prospectors in the late 1800's and is now feeling the boom again from the Oil Sands project. The hustle, the poor drivers, the frigid wind and snow and the vasteness of the city will all be left behind for the warmth, endless sky, starry nights and community of Haydom, Tanzania a place that is a throw back, by modern standards, to the days when the Gold Rush hit Edmonton. Though it is a place where frigid temperatures and city are the last thing on the minds of the locals. We will do our best to join the community in Haydom and become emersed in the small town life in sub-saharan Africa.

We have three months to get our, proverbial, ducks in a row so we can be free to explore our new home and surroundings knowing that we are ready for the adventures to come.

By Chad

I was struck the other day, while in the grocery store selecting some milk, that Christmas is getting very close. The latest expiry date I could find was Dec 22nd. That means that by the time this 2 litre carton of milk turns sour Christmas will be a but a few days away. I usually judge the passage of time by the expiry date of milk, "wholly cow (no pun intended) this milk expires on the eleventh of January, I'm getting old" My Birthday is the 12th.

I often couldn't tell you what the date is, but the trusty dairy producers are always there to let me know what date is right around the corner. Some people may set a reminder in their favorite calendar program on their computer for someone's birthday and then send off a card a week before the date. I buy some sour cream a few months before the big day I need to remember and toss it in the back of the fridge. Then when I look in and see a green tinge under the lid I know, "Easter is drawing near, I better pick up some chocolate eggs". Or, let's say there is going to be a meteor shower in a few weeks. Buy some milk and drink half of it and leave the rest in the fridge. Halfway through the second week, every time you open your fridge you will be met with the increasingly foul smell of the meteor shower drawing near. Then you simply need to look to the heavens in the evening. Just remember to keep your nose plugged.

There are a few items that you shouldn't use as dairy alarms. Even though mayonnaise looks a bit like heavy cream, it's not. When that alarm goes off the only way you'll know is with a ride to the hospital with a blaring sound in your ears and mad rumble in your tummy. Butter is a dairy product but it takes a pretty well trained dairy alarmist's eye to see the subtle queue when the butter alarm goes "off".

But seriously, milk never lasts to the expiry date in our house so I get a good idea of what day is coming with regular trips to the dairy case. I'm sure by the weekend Dec 25th will be the new day to shoot for.

By Chad

I was at a training session for work yesterday and was amazed at the reliance on technogadgets in the room. One guy walked in with one of those Bluetooth earpieces for his cell phone. I don't know if you've seen these things but I am a little baffled by how often and where people wear them. They are everywhere. They are small in comparison to a cell phone but their loud and flashy colouring make them impossible to miss. This guy wasn't on the phone when he walked in and, as it was a two-hour training session, one would think he would remove it. He sat there the entire time with his right ear plugged by this device. Don't get me wrong, I can understand the practical aspects of having one on these things while driving or even in the office when trying to work and talk at the same time, but take it off when you aren't in these situations.

Through out the entire two hours every table played the now customary Blackberry vibra-buzz and someone would pull out the gadget to check their latest email. No one seemed to care or even notice the disruption; does this kind of thing happen in high school now? Do teachers notice it or are cell phones even allowed in class? One guy had his Blackberry on the table in front of him right beside his flip phone that was open and ready to take calls or play a game or god knows what. It was like a status symbol. He was the king of the techno-geeks proudly displaying the crown jewels for all to see. I don't know if others were envious and they may not have even noticed the display, but the phone didn't ring and the Blackberry didn’t buzz the entire time so he could have left them in the car or his pocket and saved me the frustration.

I am not immune to the draw of electronic devices. It is probably obvious that by my writing in a blog that I have, to at least some extent, embraced technology and the "internet age". The truth is I have embraced it. In our home we have a couple of computers and have had for a number of years. The main computer is hooked to a couple of printers, a scanner is close by and I need a USB hub to connect to the Wacom tablet, two digital cameras and our two iPods. The cell phone is on the charger and the iPod FM transmitter is locked away in the car on the off chance I trust the mean streets again and use my iPod in the car someday. I use Firewire to hook up the DVD RW drive and tie in the video camera on the other Firewire port when I want to make a movie or do a video chat, which doesn't really work that well anymore as the computer is either getting old or bogged down by all of these peripherals. What I don’t do is strap on all of these devices to insulate myself from the rest of the world. I even take my iPod headphones out of my ears at the checkout at Safeway so I don’t offend the cashier or the others in line. This way I’ll know when the service is good so I can share the experience.

By Chad

Many people have asked how this all played out and how the van is now. Thanks for your concern. In this installment of Service or Dis-service (and I lean toward dis-service) you will learn the true meaning of "get it done or get it done right".

We pick up with me in a rental van and our van in the body shop to actually be fixed this time. We had a fabulous weekend, spent 4 hours in the emergency room only to find that Doctors don't really now how to examine a patient, but that's another story. I did like the rental vehicle though I had made it quite dirty with my daily commute and they didn't have time to wash it before I took it again, but what can you do.

On Tuesday afternoon the bodyshop called me to say the van was once again ready. I asked, "are you quite sure, because I don't want to waste my time picking it up only to leave it there again? Please have someone check the work." So they called back an hour or so later with an affirmative and I left work early (don't tell anyone) to grab it.

I arrived and Johnny, the manager, gave me the tour of my now "completed" van. I was pretty happy with the results and as he finished his checklist, "new reflective tape here and here, new clips to hold the door molding on and that's about it." I said, "And a full tank of gas for all my trouble!?!" He was confused and then offered me "a night at the movies for two". I was happy with that; if you think about the price of admission these days. So I took the coupons with a smile and got in the van and headed for home.

As I had to stop at a number of red lights along the way, I checked out the coupons, where were they valid, did they expire, that sort of thing. Then I realized that they were only good for a bag of popcorn and two medium fountain pops. 'Fabulous!!' I thought, 'Johnny had just bought off my bad experience with about 3 bucks!!' The thing is, when we go to the movies we pay to get in, these coupons did not cover entry. When we do see a show we stop at Safeway and pick up a couple of bottles of our favorite beverage and perhaps a bag of Twizzlers. So Johnny's gesture, while still an attempt to make up for the startling dis-service, fell WAY short in my books. But I had the van and it had paint on all the doors and all the chips, holes, and scratches were repaired so I took it home and parked in our heated garage for the first time in ten nights. I put on the Club and turned on the pseudo Alarm system and tucked it in till morning.

Wednesday morning I had to go to an all-day conference in the extreme north west of town and I, of course, thought that I was running late. So I jumped in the van and reeled back at the overpowering smell of paint. It wasn't really a bad smell, a little sweet and clean but enough to topple a rhino with just one whiff. It was about 25 below outside but rather warm in the garage so I thought I ought to air it out a bit for my long drive. I figured I should put the passenger window down for a few minutes even if it meant running with it open in the freezer outside the big door. At least the icy wind would come in the other side of the van. So I hit the power window switch to roll it down and nothing happened. Mild curse words escaped my lips. The utter inconvenience of having to lean to the other side to open the passenger window was infuriating, but I did lean over none the less. As my finger touched the switch my brain went into high gear and ran scenarios of what if's. The one that made me cease the action and lift my finger was, 'what if the window goes down but will not go up?' As I lifted my finger I laughed out loud at myself. That is pretty silly; as if that would happen. The window was now open a half an inch. I again reached to roll it down further but that 'what if' played again, and again I stopped. The argument in my head was so silly, but the silly side won out. Instead of rolling it down further I hit the switch in the UP direction. And this time not-so-mild curse words escaped my lips. But with no time to fix it myself I drove out into the arctic-esc world with the window down a crack.

As I drove I examined the door switches for the power locks as well. None of the switches were actually installed correctly. They were all at odd angles and the power lock on the passenger door was not clipped into place at all and was barely reachable through the little hole in the door handle. Due to my mounting anger many people had decided to stay off the roads that morning allowing me to make good time.

Once I neared my destination I pulled over to call Nik and tell her about the situation and have her calm me down a little. Our conversation went as you'd expect, utter awe and amazement from Nik, and afterward I took a moment to see if I could fix this little faux pas so I would not have to talk to the body shop again. I took the switch plates out of both doors and ensured the plugs were secure in each switch. As they all gave a resounding click, my anger again reduced to a simmer. I thought I had it licked. When I was finished finishing the bodyshops work I tried once again to roll the window up and, as you may have guessed, nothing happened. There was no whirr of the motor, no sound of the window moving along its lining, just the sound of steam escaping from my ears like the whistle of a kettle. You may say that this would not be a good time to call the bodyshop and explain the situation and as I sit here and type this I tend to agree.

The bodyshop's phone rang and had they known what was on the other end they would have let it ring and ring and ring some more. I showed minimal restraint in my barrage of the poor receptionist, as the manager was not in. She was quite apologetic and would have the manager call me, which of course would not work because of the all day meeting I would be in. I managed to connect with the manager, Johnny, later on and, as I had time to calm down a bit, I politely went up one side of him and down the other. (I don't really know what that means) He came and got the van and took it to the shop AGAIN. I was not optimistic that he could solve the problem. I think the track record had me a bit worried. So I made sure he would be back by 4:45 or have a rental for me to take home, at his expense!!

The all-day meeting went well. We had some hotel food and talked about the business plan. To wrap things up we did a team building activity that involved rescuing a pair of endangered Condor eggs from a nest in the Andes. It was a difficult task that took me all of 2 minutes to come up with a plan, sell the plan to my team, and build our apparatus of rescue. In the end we had the best time and to go along with my recent luck there was no prize for the winning team.

Possibly due to the fact that my team took all of 34 seconds to rescue the Condor eggs, I was in the lobby early and who should walk in but Johnny. He even had my keys. The problem was that the plug to the power window motor had not been pushed in as far as it should have been, "ha ha ha". 'No shit Johnny', I thought. 'Thanks for getting it back to me', is what came out of my mouth. Johnny said with a smile, "I put gas in it...you know, for the trouble." "That's nice, I appreciate that." I replied very sincerely.

That was it, I had the van again and it was all good. Once Johnny was in his cab I ran out to check his assumption of completion. The windows worked, the door locks worked and it all seemed good; then I looked at the gas gauge. In my estimation $5 was put in the tank. Take away the couple of bucks it cost for the round trip from north Edmonton to south and that leaves $3. Whoopee!! I was rolling in dough. That made up for their lack of attention to detail...Detail???

Well the van was back straightened, painted and the windows not only went down, they went up too.

My Dad visited a week or two later and said the paint looked a little wavy. Oh well I like surfing, so rather than subject myself to more of Johnny's dis-service I think we can live with Waves.

By Chad